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breakups suck

After months of having no clue what to do with my time and no desire to do anything I used to like doing for that matter, I finally decided to make a post about the only thing I’ve been thinking about for the past few months: breakups suck.

Inspired by Cazzie David’s book of essays, I’m deciding to put my completely personal business on the internet with the hopes of nobody being able to relate to this because the entire experience sucks and ruined my existence for the past few months (it’s actually almost a year and I’m maybe 5% over the breakup – yikes).

The reality is, there are a lot of fish in the sea. There’s also a lot of trash. It’s easy to look at the beautiful view of a body of water, but you have to face the fact that your foot is going to touch a piece of trash or seven when you dive in. Nothing feels worse than trying to date and finding more trash after leaving something that wasn’t good for you. At least my breakup wasn’t as public as Cazzie David’s and my ex didn’t start dating Ariana Grande after, but everyone has been in that place where you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and you almost just accept that your life is going to be a never-ending cycle of sh*tty dates and thinking about your ex.

There are really only two things I found comfort in. Listening to lots of sad music until my phone notifies me that I’ve been listening to music too loudly on my AirPods for the past week and a half. I know a lot of articles say differently, but really, listen to that sh*t. A lot. Taylor Swift somehow got it exactly right, we are never ever getting back together, and the song is most definitely going to be on my Spotify wrapped. Feeling vulnerable and then getting ghosted sucks, but at least Taylor Swift has your back. One of the only other things that have helped me get back on track is vitamin D, the kind you get from sunshine. For anyone going through a breakup during the winter-time, I salute you.

Learning how to be alone again is really hard, being vulnerable is really hard, and letting go is really hard. It will probably never not suck, but coming from a veteran with a couple of months of experience, in some time, it will probably suck a little less.

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